If You Ever Meet me...

If you ever meet me in an alley...
I'm probably doing research for a book. Because alleys scare the hell out of me - even well-lit ones in the middle of the day. I would not suggest approaching a paranoid writer in an alley-way - especially me. Though a friendly "Hey, are you alive over there?" couldn't hurt. It will most likely be ignored.

If you ever meet me behind a computer...
If my eyes are on the screen and the fingers on the keys - BEWARE. I may ensnare you to be my sounding board while I talk my way out of a problem. Or bite off your head if you begin a conversation. (or your hand if it comes within good masticating distance).

If you ever meet me at a conference....
I'll be sure to be talking or listening to someone important because I LOVE meeting new people and I think everyone's important in their own right. Come and join us. We won't mind.

If you ever meet me when I'm teaching...
Beware - the children are probably frikazeeing my brain and I won't have enough mental fortitude to speak with anyone over the age of twelve. You'll have to give me some adjustment time. Or HELP. PLEASE HELP. So my darling little monsters won't overrun me :-)

and finally...

If you ever meet me when I am with my family....
Do not judge me by the company I keep or the gene pool I come from... Please. They are insanity incarnate these people and I love them will all my heart. But if you're not a Crosier, you simply will not understand.